Normalcy in the Shadowland
by Wunderlind
Summary: Ren Hi gets reborn into the body of one, Uzumaki Naruto, and though, as crazy as it seem, it appears that this, a place where children are given lethal weapons, has become his every day life. Watch as this quiet shadow decides to shake the elemental nations to the ground. AU! YAOI! si!oc x ?
1. Chapter 1: Jashin Laughs His Ass Off

_Wunderlindia: "Er, Hullo? Oh! Hi! You're actually reading this, uhm, welcome, to my first attempt at writing. Yes, I know, this has been done all to hell, but I have been wanting to do this, so, I did. So, yup, that's about it. Uhm, bye?"_

 ** _Lawyers: ahem!_**

 _Wunderlindia: "Oh! Right! I do not own Naruto, Masashi Kishimoto does, all I own is Ren Hi, and the thoughts in my head, usually."_

* * *

 _'thoughts or inflections'_

 ** _'summons or biju speaking'_**

 **"a shit ton of inflection"**

 _ **When there are no marks, it's a dream.**_

* * *

 _ **My life was never one that others would think of or look onto with fondness. I'd been a shadow for all intensive purposes, a spy. My family was dead. And I had no social life, my forte was more of 'Oh, they saw me, I suppose they have to die now..' and I was okay with that, till I took in a street rat. As cliché as it sounds, that little kid melted my heart, but my organization did not appreciate loosing their best agent, so they did something about it. The last day of that life, I was bustling around my tiny kitchen, making lunch for my kid, it was her first day at school, and I wouldn't miss it for the word, in fact I was rockin' the classic Mr. Mom style, with the pink apron thrown over my shirt and jeans. She had just walked into the room, her dark coloured dress matching her cautious eyes, when the men burst in, pistols with silencers pointed at us. I glanced at the frying pan I had been making eggs with, but before I could grab it in an attempt to attack the attackers, a cold pain spread from my chest and the last things I knew before everything went black was the smell if burning eggs and the scream of my kid.**_

I shot up in a cold sweat, it'd been a while since I'd dreamed of the past, and I could tell that today would probably suck balls. I glanced at the calendar on the wall, October 8th, great. I shuffled into the bathroom it was maybe 4 am, but I didn't mind, I would need to start going in earlier anyway. I wiped the condensation off the mirror after my shower, it was a cold one so there wasn't much, but still a little bit. I was still surprised when I saw my reflection, the blonde hair and blue eyes I knew so well, the face of an 8 year old Uzumaki Naruto. After my death, I had woken up as he, the hero of the franchise I had so closely followed with my musume, it was like a bad fanfiction. After surviving, barely, the childhood of his, it had lost the impossibility that it had toward the beginning, but sometimes, it still freaked me out. I'm not even going to mention the amount of new scars I'd received since my rebirth, both physical and mental.

In my past life, I had been stoic, yes, but in this one, I had been so completely focused on with such burning rage and hate, that my cynicism and stoicism had been forcefully replaced with a self-loathing and utter nervousness, my sharp tongue speaking only on the inside. Pulling myself out of the staring contest I'd started with the mirror, I pulled on the clothes I'd acquired, a pair of baggy capris that were more length of actual pants on me with the drawstring wrapped around my stick thin waist thrice before knotted into an overly large bow, a singlet that I'd altered so that the straps wouldn't fall off my scrawny shoulders, and a zip up jacket, high-collared and similar to those the Aburames wear, several sizes too large, with sleeves that had to be rolled up many times so that I could actually use my hands, and a hem that fell to my knees. No shoes or socks, my feet hand developed callouses, but bandages were sometimes wrapped on them, when I had some to spare, but those were mostly used on my torso. After my dressing, I quietly made my way out of the tiny apartment, and toward the building in the middle of the village. No one was in the classroom, and no one would be for a few hours, so I made my way to the very last row, the desks on the right, and then, laying on the hard wooden bench, I drifted to sleep.

 ** _The smell of smoke, and she was crying? What happened? Why is she crying? "Papa! Papa why did you leave me? I thought you promised! Why?!" Miyu? What's wrong? I failed haven't I?_**

I shot up once again with the harrowing sounds of a voice now past. No more sleep for me, I checked the nearby clock, I'd slept for an hour, and soon, Shika'd get here. My mind wandered to my relationship with the Nara and of course, also the Akimichi and Yamanaka. I'd met them when I was maybe 3, stumbled into Shikamaru and Chouji's cloud watching time, and they let me stay, eventually Ino had shown up, and though she had commented on me, had accepted me into their bond quite easily. I fit in nicely with them, I was someone who didn't nag Shika, and could give him a run for his money while playing Go, never while playing Shoji though. Someone that Chouji could talk to, without them commenting on his weight or the amount of food he eats, and though he'd usually have to started the conversations we'd have, he seemed to enjoy talking to me. And I was someone for Ino to rant to, I listened, and I counseled her, and though it was something that I would always blush vehemently at, I taught her to sing and braid flower crowns, things that she had begged me to teach her.

I was the perfect addition to their trio, but I knew history wouldn't change for us, and I knew that the day that we'd be separated, was the day that I dreaded with all my heart.

My contemplation of the future was something that I delved into often, but as I could never actually stay still for long, I'd found ways to continue my thoughts without interrupting them; tapping, humming, twirling pens or pencils, and even taking notes during class were things that I had been able to successfully multitask while thinking. This time, I'd started twirling a pen through my fingers, and my thoughts drifted again, this time wishing I could carry a blade, people had been even harsher lately, and it was getting harder for me to walk in the open, the beating from last night could testify to that, adding the fact I wasn't old enough to start my notorious bad habit from my past life, I was pretty tense. What was it you ask? An addiction that I was both glad for and abhorred. Cigarettes. Yeah yeah, they'll kill you, whatever. In my last life, I honestly didn't give a shit about that, I knew I'd probably die before cancer could kill me. In this one, I had chakra, a magical things that supplemented the user with unbelievable abilities, and amazing resistance to such outstanding sicknesses and diseases like those from my past. Being that chewing the skin on the inside of my mouth was easier than obtaining cigarettes at a young age, that had become my alternative, and it did have consequences: despite my ridiculous healing factor, my lips and mouth are heavily scarred.

I was drawn out of my reasoning behind my self-mutilation, by the door to the room slowly being slid open, and though I was sitting at a table, my forehead resting against the cool wood surface, I could tell just when it was that Shika spotted me and laid my head on its side to watch him amble up the row of stairs in between the desks. He and I were always the first ones here, me because it was easier to leave my apartment during the early hours, and him because, and I quote, 'It's too troublesome to be late.' I had actually asked. But during the hour or so that it was just the two of us, we had learned much about each other, forming a tight bond, familial it was. I found out that he hates purely sunny days with a clear blue sky, and he learned of my hatred for the sun in general, among other things that both of us had carefully stored away so that nothing was forgotten.

He was also the only one of the trio that knew of my bad habit of mutilating my mouth, due to catching me wincing as my tongue grazing an open wound a few months ago and being that I was one of his closest friends he asked what was wrong, and then later made me show him the extensive damage I'd done, and had told me multiple times it was bad for me, I had shrugged. Then he'd taken to distracting me, usually with conversation so I couldn't disfigure my mouth further, but other times he'd shove a candy in my mouth. I think he'd actually taken to carrying lollipops and hard caramels in his pockets because of me. Oh well. Free candy. He sighed as he plopped down, laying his head down too, but turning it toward me. His eyes were sharp as they took in my slightly moving jaw and guilty eyes that avoided eye contact, I knew that if I looked at him then, the pit in my stomach would grow exponentially. Finally I shut them, knowing that if I kept them open, I'd be drawn to the look of sad disappointment on his face, my first and closest friend's face, and honestly, though it was selfish, I really didn't want to see that.

A puff of air hit my face, his sigh, I flinched "Hm, why?" I cracked my eyelids open, hoping that he wasn't still looking at me like that. He wasn't, this time it was a look of puzzlement, intense thought and concern, his dark eyes searching my light ones for lies. I froze. "W-what?" My raspy voice stuttered. The concern in his eyes grew at the painful sounding noise that came from my throat. "Why do you do that to yourself? Why do you seem so happy to be my friend, to be anyone's? Why do the civilians hate you? Why are you neglected? Just why you?" I slid my eyes shut briefly again, not looking forward to talking so much in one sitting. I sat up, pulling my knees to my chest, then wrapped my arms around them. I had an hour, probably, to tell this, before anyone else arrived.

My dry rasp whispered to him, afraid of someone else hearing "Th-the answers to your-" I paused to cough some of the sandpapery feeling away "Q-question.. a-are equal parts simple and intricate." Confusion filled his eyes "I do this, because this is the best way to calm the… problems I have.. I'm happy to be anyone's friend, especially your's, Cho's, and Ino-san's because no one's ever wanted me around before. The answers to the last two questions are things that I want to find out myself, I truly have no idea." The strained condition of my vocal chords really showed during this extended answer, I had started quietly talking, but had ended barely whispering, and I felt drained as I finished speaking, and reverted back to laying on the table, the cool wood soothing my warm temperature.

I heard his breathing change in frustration, a minute sigh, then; a few short puffs of air as his eyes attempted to burn into my head. I hadn't given him much information, and it was irritating him, but I knew that if I told him, he'd question how I got the information. A larger sigh blew onto my face, pulling me out of my thoughts, and I opened my eyes once more to see what he was doing. He was studying me again, no doubt seeing my how much thinner my face had gotten, gaze lingering around the high collar of my jacket and I hoped none of the bandages were showing, but didn't try to adjust it because then he'd definitely question me.

The taste of iron brought me out of my paranoid assessment, I'd went back to biting the inside of my left cheek while thinking and had caused a massive wound. He saw the discomfort on my face and outstretched his hand, but quickly withdrew it.

I'd flinched.

He was going to help and I'd just flinched away. It had been a jerk-knee reaction, one that I regretted with all my matter, how could he have known of my recent beating, or my tense caution after all? But I had sat up in alarm, subconsciously thinking there was danger, too fast actually. My back hit the back of the bench harder than I was expecting, and I hissed at the pain it brought all the bruises I had, hand coming up to my mouth in an attempt to muffle it. I heard the rustling of fabric as I fought a yelp that tried to escape. My eyes had been clenched tightly shut in pain, so when a gentle hand eased my hand away from my face I was surprised. He was looking my straight in the eye "Are you hurt?" He hissed with such venom, and was I frankly touched at this, however he was slightly terrifying, eyes like slits, voice dark, and emitting a dangerous aura, so, without thinking, I nodded. "Where." His voice sounded murderous, so I turned without question, once my back was facing him, I undid zipper on the front of my too-large jacket.

All my attire underneath consisted of old dark singlet and bandages, lots of bandages. They ran from my hips to my neck, some soaked in various shades of red, others still pale. I felt him finger the bandages at the back of my neck, no doubt wondering just what had happened.

"You are coming with me. Now." I turned back toward him, confused. "B-but, class-" "You are hurt, badly. This takes precedence." He cut off my protest with a firm tug on my wrist. I quickly zipped my jacket back up, the overly large coat covering everything and making me look tiny as he drug me out of the building, and toward his home. More people were out now, and I saw a few of our classmates making their way to the classroom, but he just ignored them all, deciding to glare at anyone who dare look at me wrong. As we walked through the gates of his clan's compound many people glanced out windows at the normally laid back child that was now furious. By the time we'd reached his home, I was severely embarrassed and my wrist ached from both his grip and a bruise from last week.

His mom poked her head out a gentle smile on her face, then taking one look at us, her face grew serious, and she grabbed a dish towel to wipe her formerly sudsy hands off with. "Maru-chan? What's wrong?" She inquired concernedly, "Okaa-san. I need your help. Ru-chan is hurt. Allot." He stated. His voice was full of pain, like he was the one hurt and I guiltily looked down, sorry for causing him this pain. I started chewing on my lip again. Yoshino Nara glanced at his face before ushering us toward the kitchen, and Shika pulled me to the table. Yoshino-sama picked me up gently and sat me on the table, my back facing the edge, so she could get at my tiny body easily. I just sat there as she went to grab a first aid kit, still biting my lip as Shika watched his mother race around. He climbed up onto the table too, sitting cross legged in front of me.

I couldn't look at his face, so I stared at his hands. They were small, and pale, with callouses just starting to form. I glanced up as he sighed. He wrapped his skinny arms around me, pulling me close, into, a hug? I had never noticed just how much smaller I was compared to him. He was thin, average height, but compared to me, he was tall. I pressed my face into his neck, I was confused and everything was a whirl of emotions, but I wouldn't cry. I owed it to the original, I owed it to my kitten. I brought my hands up to grasp onto the front of his shirt, and we sat there as Yoshino-sama collected her materials. Soon a first aid kit, bowl of warm water, and dark hand towel all sat on the area next to me. She pulled up a chair to sit in, and then gently pulled me from her son's lap. "Maru-chan, Ru-chan was it? Needs to take off their jacket." She spoke to him easily, using neutral pronouns for me due to the fact that I was pretty ambiguous, and Shika undid my coat, and she slid it off my thin body. Her fingers traced the bandages at the back of my neck, and though I couldn't see Shika due to my eyes being clenched shut, I heard his intake of breath at the way my torso and arms looked, though, I'd blocked his view of most of it, so he wouldn't be able to see just how thin I was, but it was a great thing he wasn't seeing my back.

"May I?" Yoshino-sama asked, and I nodded, not very excited because I knew that some of the blood would've dried to the cloths by now, and it was going to hurt like hell. She started unraveling them at my waist, and I tensed as they were pulled off numerous wounds, biting my lip to keep in cries of pain. Hands found their way to brush against my face, and I quickly grasped one of them with both of mine, needing something to hold onto, and opened my eyes to make contact with Shika's caring ones. His eyes hardened at my pain, and withdrawing his hand from my face, stroked my hands as a distraction. It helped, but I still flinched sometimes as the bandages were peeled off. Once she reached a particularly nasty part that had me holding back tears, Yoshino-sama started humming a soothing melody, I took a deep breath in, she was getting closer to my shoulder blades, where most of the damage had been done. She quickly unwrapped me, knowing the faster this went, the sooner it would be over, and I was so grateful for it. With every layer, she revealed horrific scars and massive bruises, and the wounds that leaked my red life fluid. However, as soon as she tried to peel away a section that was dyed a dark red, I let out a sharp cry. That wound had been a pain in the ass to wrap, and now there was dried blood sticking the cloth to my damaged skin, and it hurt like hell. Before I could bite down on my lip, Yoshino-sama handed me a wad of fabric, I was to bite down on it as she ripped the bandage off quickly. She grabbed a kunai to attempt to cut off whatever was left around my torso, most fell as she finished slicing, but the piece on my shoulder remained. I bit down as she ripped it off, then, there I sat.

The only bandages left were the the ones around my neck, covering what I knew to be horrifyingly dark bruising. "A-ano, Nara-sama? I would prefer to remove those myself.." Shika's face was blank. Completely emotionless as I untied the knot around my neck, revealing dark bruising all around it. I sat there as Yoshino-sama disinfected my wounds, and bandaged them. He watched the process carefully, observing any pain carefully, and gently squeezing my hand in reassurance as I winced. Yoshino-sama soon finished, but I couldn't turn to meet her gaze, Shika had engaged me in a staring contest, a look of hurt, guilt, and desperation in his eyes, asking me nonverbally why I hadn't told him. Though I wanted to tell him, I couldn't, so I stared back, eyes full of pain and sadness. We stared, his hands still gently stroking mine as he sat there for several minutes. And then, he could take it no more.

With a sob, he gathered Me in his arms, embracing tightly, and I lost the fight I'd been having with tears. They made their way down silently, unlike Shika's loud, heartbroken sobs. I felt longer arms wrap around us both. Yoshino-sama. She pulled us to her, our small bodies fitting onto her lap, and cradled us in deceptively strong arms. That's when I lost it. I whimpered quietly, and soon quiet sobs were heard as well, I was nowhere near as loud as Shika, but the small melancholic weeping caught their attention as both wrapped me up in their arms as I clutched onto Shika's shirt. As Shika and I calmed, Yoshino-sama wiped our tears gently, and soon we were just barely sniffling. She set me back on the table, facing Shika and her, I stared at them as they examined me.

"Who did this." Surprisingly, it wasn't Shika's cold voice from earlier that asked, but one that came from a hallway behind me.

I'd flinched at the unannounced inquiry, it wasn't unkind, but sharp, with an edge of authority. And before I could turn to look at the man that was Shika's father, he was standing next to the chair Yoshino-sama and Shika were in. I blinked as his piercing gazing found my eyes, the tiniest surprise showing, but I assume that's because as far as he was informed, Namikaze Minato had not born any children, and yet here was a kid with eyes that looked oh so similar. And Kushina's face. Just what was going on here?! Seeing his slightly credulous face and racing thoughts, I got off the table, opting to standing closer to the door. "Who. Did. This." He repeated, and this time I took in a breath to answer with "A-a I f-fell? I-it's fine, r-really! D-don't worry about me. I-i'll figure something out, u-uhm, th-thank you for tr-treating me, Nara-sama, and i-if you will excuse me Nara-sama a-and N-Nara-dono, I should…." my weak defense and escape were utterly destroyed at the sight of all three Nara's glares. "Bullshit Ru." Shika commented, "You have possibly the best reflexes in the academy, and you expect me to believe you fell? Try again." I avoided eye contact. I wouldn't let an innocent child become bitter toward people who needed someone to blame. Shikaku's eyes gained an understanding glint. "It was them wasn't it?" I frantically shook my head "N-no. I-it was all me." He looked at me with that sad understanding look, and I couldn't, I couldn't lie. Not to my best friend, to the family that had only just met me and was so considerate, to me, the village pariah. "N-no, I'm sorry, you were right… I'm sorry, j-just d-don't hurt them, please!" I bowed to them as I pleaded. _'Please, please, please! Don't ask, stop pushing..'_


	2. Chapter 2: He's Just a Dick

_Wunderlindia: "H-heeeeey, erm, people. Sorry I didn't update, I honestly didn't mean to make you all suffer so long... sorry. So, uhm, please enjoy, this chapter, thats almost two months late... yerp."_

 _ **I do not own Naruto, well, I mean, if I did, then the entire universe would probably be full of abuse and hot yaoi smex... and well, Masashi Kishimoto is a genius, I'm merely a rip off.**_

 _Skikaku Nara POV_

The small waif that his son had been friends with for awhile, was….strange to say the least. He was dirty, well that was to be expected, but it seem intentional, the jacket that lie on the table was dark, something that probably helped when he'd pull the tricks his mother and he had been so very found of. My eyes practically melted when I saw just how nervous he was the blue eyes that held shadows, ones that no child should have, the eyes that just couldn't keep eye contact. His hair was long and shaggy, it looked as if it hadn't been cut for a couple years, falling almost to his shoulders in uneven waves, it's bright yellow colour dulled to a mousy brown by the use of dry dirt, the colour one that belonged to one of my best friends hidden to avoid being recognized. Being that I'd arrived while the bandages were being taken off, I knew that it was for necessity, but that's just it, why should this be necessity?

 _'He's just a child.'_

I could also see the meticulous cleanliness, one that was telling. It was something that you could glance over, I could see it his desire to be _cleancleanclean_ , but instead all he got was _painpainredredred_ and all I wanted to do was murder the bastard that had done this. He was also tiny. Not to say that it wasn't expected, they'd never been that tall, but at this age, malnutrition was the only explanation, and he should've been being fed by the orphanage, or given a fund monthly for food till he was able to take missions, I mean, for the Log's sake, he barely came to Shikamaru's shoulder, and I was well aware that Shika was not very tall at all. 'He has her face.' I realized, the overall femininity of his features just reaching me, actually, he could've been mistaken as a girl, it wouldn't surprise me. As I gazed upon this child bowing before me, wanting us not to take action for the wrongs being dealt to him, I felt a crushing feeling of failure. This village that _he_ 'd loved, had failed his own son, and I hadn't even known he'd had a son.

Before I knew it, I was bowing before him, this tiny foundling. "Sumimasen. I will not arrest those responsible, I apologize for pressing on this matter."

 _Uzumaki Naruto POV_

I was shocked. But had easily found the loophole, and honestly I didn't mind, he wasn't arresting them publicly for their crime, and he wasn't lying to me. I was more shocked that he'd bowed to me, no matter how clear the guilt and sadness in his expression had been clear, this was not something I'd ever imagined he'd do. I realized that my lip had been drawn into the sharp edges of my teeth when Shika sighed again, this time exasperated at my completely predictable action. Startled, I realized that Shikaku-dono was still bowing and bowed in turn, "N-Nara-dono, please don't bow… um, no apology was needed? I mean it was…." I trailed off as I started rambling, Shikaku-dono stood back up , and I followed. He had a scary glint in his eye, one that made me wary. "Oh? And I don't believe I've properly introduced myself, my name's Nara Shikaku, please just call me Shikaku, no need for formality." I blinked, then scrambled to introduce myself. "A-ah. My name is Uzumaki Naruto, nice to meet you, Shikaku-dono." I couldn't resist adding the honorific, and I swear I saw his eye twitch, making me cackle internally.

I saw Shika shake his head at me as he strolled over to me, patting my head as he got closer. Yoshino-sama had walked up to the space beside Shikaku-dono and when my focus shifted back to them, she decided to introduce herself. "Maa maa, Uzumaki-chan, no need to tease my husband, my name is Nara Yoshino, incase you hadn't figured. And please just call me Yoshino, as well." I bowed to her in respect. Once I was standing straight again, it was slightly awkward for me, the three Nara staring at me as I wondered if I'd be able to escape Shika's inevitable overprotective mother hen reaction having me stay the night. "Ru-chan," I turned to my best friend who stood next to me "You will be staying here. Indefinitely." I blinked, surprised at the fact he'd _truly_ meant it, he really wnted me here, _forever_ , then shook my head "No I'm not." He pushed his face closer to mine, irritation showing in his furrowed brow, the glint I'd learn meant that he would not take no as an answer, and then, when he spoke, his voice held the cold protective edge that was honestly terrifying. "Yes, you are. You will even if I have to lock you in the house."

My eyes slid to the adult pair who actually radiated approval, though, Yoshino-sama had a predatory look in her eyes. Steering my thoughts from the odd mother, I turned back to Shika, only to be caught in a death trap. _'That's just not fucking fair.. foul play I declare!'_ He'd pulled the trump card. The kicked puppy begging eyes. His normally sharp or bored eyes were now shining, the pupils dilated and his lips were pulled into a pout. I looked down as soon as I could, but it was too late, I'd been defeated. "S-shika, s-stop that! F-fine, I'll s-stay, but stop." I could practically feel his grin as he pat my head again. "I win." Fighting the urge to jab him in the side I narrowed my eyes at him. I would not be forgetting this anytime soon, _'Watch your back Shika.'_

My inner cackling and plots of vengeance were interrupted by Yoshino-sama ushering us out of the room, toward a doorway in the hall. I could smell the lemon products used in the room as we left the kitchen, was already resigning myself to my fate as the door opened to reveal a pristine bathroom. "Now then, time for a bath boys." Shika sighed in false exasperation, and I just sorta stood there, trying to work up the courage to undress, not wanting them to see just how extensive the scarring was. Apparently, I'd spaced out, because Yoshino-sama and Shika were staring at me "Ru?" Shika looked concerned. My face warmed in embarrassment. "Oh, u-uhm, s-sorry… i- uh I s-spaced out a-a little.." Shika gave me a searching look, but soon turned away to undress and rinse off, wrapping a towel around his waist, Yoshino-sama however, she stood in front of me with a gentle, but sad look in her eyes. "Ru-kun? Would you mind terribly if I stayed to wash your backs?" Her voice was submissive, as if I would snap any second, but I didn't exactly mind, it was… calming? "Yo-Yoshino-sa-sama, I, I, I am not very, uhm, comfortable u-und-d-dr-ressing, -ttbane…" I saw her eyes sadden at the sound of the verbal tick, and mentally I kick myself for letting it happen. "Ru-kun, it's okay, Shika-chan won't look, it will be just us." She attempted to placate my worries.

I wrung my hands, nervous, my teeth once again abusing my lips. _'She has that look, the that Shika had gotten when I said couldn't show him my house. Suspicious... sad...'_ "H-hai, Yoshino-sama… ttebane" I slipped off the singlet again, and then undid the string that was wound around my waist. Grasping the sturdy material in my had so it wouldn't fall, I looked once more to the Naras in the room. Yoshino-sama had averted her eyes politely and Shika's back was to us as he scrubbed at his hair. I grabbed a small towel, and before I let my pants drop, I tied it 'round my hips. I now stood with only a towel preventing my nudity, my arms crossed in front of my stomach and eyes turned to the ground. "Yo-yoshino-s-sama.. uhm, wh-what do I do now, ttebane..?" Her gaze focused on me as I quietly inquired on my next course of action. "Ru-kun.. have you… have you never bathed?" She was slightly incredulous, and sounded so heartbroken, and, well, I tried what I thought was best, y'know, damage control...y'know...

"W-well, i-it is i-in a p-place s-so w-well, uhm, sophisticated..?" I trailed off as her gaze got sadder, _'I, how do I fix this? Fuck! I am not prepared for this! Fuck!'_ My internal panic was interrupted by being engulfed in warmth 'er, le wut?' She, was hugging me. "Yoshino-sama! D-don't, you-, you'll g-get d-dirty!" I struggled against her hold, uncomfortable with the concept of such a loving touch. "Naruto….. I'm so sorry, so sorry…" her grip grew tighter around me, and I settled for hesitantly placing my arms around her. _'She's, why is she touching me?!'_ I shook with anxiety… my motion was restrained, I was, caged, caged, _'caged... let me out... oh, oh, please, let me out of this trap! Tasukete! Tasukete kudasai! Stop that! Painpainpain..'_

"Stop. Stopstopstopstopstopstopstop." She had immediately let go, but I couldn't breathe, I fell to my knees, my arms were crossed on my chest, by my hands were at my neck, clawing at invisible hands. The room blurred, bright spots clouded my vision. I heard static… no, it was the deafening silence. My throat ached, hot, burning, the feeling of bruises under irritated bug bites. I was back in that alley, the smell of metal filling my senses. And, and the pain. _'Pain! I'm sorry. I'm so so sorry. Make it stop. Please! I can't take all this redredredredredredred. I can't breathe! It's filling my lungs! Tasukete.. tasukete.. kudasai…save me…'_

"-u.. Ru.. Ru?.. Ru!... Naruto!" My ears cleared. Someone, was calling for me? A warm hand pulled at mine. My left arm froze. Another hand grasped the captured right arm. Small. Barely marred. Nails cut neatly. Short. "Ru." His voice was steady. "…ka?... shika.." a hand left my arm to gently lead my left arm away. "Its over Ru. I have you. You are safe." I took in a shuttering breath. "Sa…fe? I… I-I-I…." My vision cleared. I had backed into a corner, Yoshino-sama had backed away, and assumed a submissive stance. Shika was in front of me, his eyes looking into me, full of gentle sadness. I looked down at our hands. He had a hold of my wrists, not daring to touch my bloody fingers. But, he wasn't restraining me, it was like… he was encouraging me not to move… not forcing me not to. "I'm sorry." He blinks, "For, for overreacting, for-f-for, for for." I was pulled into his shoulder. "Ru, everything is okay now. Breathe." I took in air.

Yoshino slowly crept forward, but, even so, I flinched as she reached for me. Shika hummed, a slow sound, familiar. "…'m s'rry.." A hand stroked my shoulder. Soft, but muscled, callused. "Yoshino-dono, I apologize." She merely patted my shoulder blade. A gentle, understanding touch. A mother's touch. We sat there for a few minutes. My head resting on my best friend's collarbone as he held my bloody hands humming a slow tune from a past I thought I'd forgotten as his mother slowly stroked a comforting pattern on my shoulder. Yoshino let out a quiet cough, "Well boys, I suppose we should clean up, hm?" She sighed, as if she was asking us to go run around the village, "You can leave Okaa-san, I'll handle this." The hand left me, and a small breeze let me know she'd gotten up, then the quiet slide ' _swish_ ' of the door sounded. "Ru. It's time to wash up. Are you ready?" Strange question, yes, but I knew what he meant. Was I ready? To forgive myself? To take time to recover? _'Do I deserve this chance?'_ I sat up on my heels, and looked my friend in the eyes. "Y-yes."

 _ **Wunderlindia:**_

 _ **Well, thank you all for reading this, even though i should've uploaded it a long time ago. And before someone starts a pissing match about the behaviors shown thus far, this is centered around a man who did things that would get allot of the world's population sent to an asylum, and then, is taken from a piece of innocence that he'd taken to love, and sent to a new life, knowing he'd never be able to see what he'd sworn to protect, and then becomes one Uzumaki Naruto, a pariah, who I've portrayed as extremely abused in more ways than one, and he's also in a child's body, full of different feelings and hormones, ones that he'd never experienced before, (which will most definitely be explained later), so he developed a coping mechanism, self harm, aka his compulsive mutilation. I have plans regarding that too, so yep. Buuuuut, i do have something i would like your guys' input on. Ships. Yerp. Ships. I want your ideas, but keep in mind, this is a yaoi fic, the protagonist in only interested in males. So give me your reasoning for your otp and put it all in a review, this'll be taken into account, and you have plenty of time to make your case, as at this time, the main characters are 8.**_

 _ **Seeya next time.**_


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